


The Thin Line Between Failing Math and Losing Everything

by novacorpsrecruit



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-04-13 06:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4511001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novacorpsrecruit/pseuds/novacorpsrecruit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HIATUS:<br/>High School AU! </p><p>School is tough, especially when you're just trying to get it over with. Wade Wilson is a junior who could graduate early if he tried hard enough, but not if he's planning to drop out and join the army, due to "lack of stimulation." He says his sports are the only reason he's staying, but after wrestling season is done, he doesn't have much to keep him in school. Well. Except for the fullback on the football team, even if the fullback says otherwise. </p><p>Logan Howlett is a senior, the oldest in their class. Something that Wade teases him about. His life is simple: Play football, finish high school, work for his brother. But if he doesn't raise his grade in Algebra, he won't be the fullback on the football team for the rest of the season. </p><p>Nothing could prepare the two for what happens when their big math test arrives...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First

**Author's Note:**

> This was only going to be a drabble but i ended up writing more than I meant to and the more I write it the more it feels out of character but I figured I would post it anyway, since there's not a lot of work for this pairing.

_Wade Wilson 17 (and a half), junior, graduating early. Smart when he needs to be. No real plans for the future. Considering joining the army or the marines. "Whichever has the best scenery." Almost always dropping out of school due to "lack of stimulation" (his words) Football and wrestling are main reasons why he hasn't dropped out. And the fullback on his team sure does help convince him to stay, even though his words say otherwise._

_James "Logan" Howlett. 19. Senior. August 1st birthday. Often teased by Wade because he is older than the rest of his class. "Old Man Logan" "Stop it Wade" "Okay! Okay! I'll get off your lawn, but don't expect me to sponge bathe you tonight." "I'm serious." "Me too." He was the youngest of his class until he moved in with his older brother, after his parents passed a few years ago. Finishing his high school degree, then plans to work at his brother's lumberyard. Until then, he's failing algebra, again, and if his grade isn't raised, he won't be the fullback for the rest of the season._

\---  
They never got a long perfectly. Hardly at all. Wade is too hyperactive for Logan. All he wants is some peace and quiet when he's in the library studying or using his free time to warm up. Wade is always there to make sure Logan doesn't get that peace and quiet. Always asking questions about Logan's day or how he's doing. Being rudely polite and Logan can't figure out how to shake him. 

Wade was in all of Logan's classes. Not most. All. And some how he managed to sit by Logan in all of his classes. Not most. ALL. Even in the ones that sat students alphabetically, but somehow Howlett and Wilson were sat next to each other. Sometimes Wade to his left, between him and Jean Grey. He wondered if it was on purpose, as Jennifer Walters still sat in the back, nose buried nose buried into her book. 

And Logan wasn't the only one who's noticed.

"How does Wade weasel his way out of the back of the class?" Jennifer Walters grumbled, flipping a page in her notebook furiously, comparing her notes to Logan's. "I could hardly hear Mr. McCoy, speak." She flipped a page of Logan's notes. "Damn student teachers."

"He's young, we're scaring him to death," Logan replied. Jennifer looked up from the notes and raised an eyebrow at her friend. "McCoy. He's like, two years older than us."

" _Than you._ " 

"Y'know what I mean," Logan growled. "He's still in college, probably graduated high school early. Thought he could make impact on kids. Should've taught fifth graders." 

"Fifth graders aren't going to learn molecular biology." She flipped another page. "God, we covered cloning today?" Logan rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, Wade wouldn't stop talking about how great it would be if we cloned Kanye West multiple times." He sighed, rubbing his temples. "He already talks my ear off during practice. Do you think he forgets to take his medication in the morning?"

"Logan," Jennifer warned him. She's often heard the same comments about her cousin's frequent anger outbursts, she knows how it makes someone feel.

"Sorry." 

"If I was to guess, I'd say he likes you." Logan tensed, looking at Jennifer in disbelief. Logan couldn't understand why Wade could... _like_ him. Logan was always rude back to Wade. There was nothing nice that Logan ever did to Wade. Why would he like him? Jennifer continued to copy his notes, ignoring Logan's frustration. The green ink gliding on the paper without a falter as Logan tried to gather his words.

"...What do you mean?" Jennifer didn't look up from from her cursive writing. 

"He's gotta like you. He must've bribed teachers into letting him stay in those spots. Or had a AV kid hack the system so he would take the spot next to you." She shrugged at her words, admiring her diagram of a cloned DNA, including potential mutations. "Maybe he looks up to you or something."

"Maybe," Logan replied coolly. He obviously misunderstood Jennifer. Obviously the halfback of the team would look up to the fullback. Right?

Logan noticed Jennifer gathering her stuff, getting ready to go. "Hey wait, I thought you were going to help me with my math?"

"Study hall's about over, you'll have to find another study buddy until later," Jennifer said, slinging her bookbag over her shoulder. 

"No wait, the test is next hour!" The bell rang. His test was now several doors down and five desks in. Not enough time to study. He groaned.

"Get Wade to help you. He's probably got five different cheating techniques up his sleeve. How else does he have a higher grade point average than me?" She started towards the door.

"He actually listens in class!"

"Who does?" A voice pipped up behind him. Logan groaned.

"No one, let's go." He grabbed Wade's shoulder strap to his bookbag and pulled him out into the hallway. 

"Did Jenny help you study for the math test?" Wade weaseled out of Logan's grip, to walk beside him. Logan took a half step to speed up. Wade matched his tempo.

"No," he sighed. "Too busy catching up on cloning."

"Did you tell her about multiple Kanyes? Yeezums?"

"I did," Logan replied.

"Good."

"Yeah, good." Logan scoffed. "Will you have Yeezums preform at my post-math test funeral?"

"Funeral?" Wade raised an eyebrow at Logan. He stopped outside of the classroom. "You think you're gonna fail?" Logan softly nodded. He closed his eyes, sighing. There was no way he could get his grade up after he fails this test. Football season was almost over. He wouldn't help his team get a title, nor go to state. Here goes everything.

Wade on the other hand was thinking the same thing. He looked at Logan, knowing how much the test would hurt his chances to get back on the field if he wasn't prepared. Wade had to do something. He was just waiting for the right moment. He glanced into the classroom, locking eyes with Mr. Richards. He softly sighed and changed his body language. The bell rang. Here goes everything.

Wade swung at Logan. Hard too. Logan stumbled backwards, into the lockers. Logan's hand quickly goes to his nose. Blood trickled between his fingers and dripped on the floor. 

Logan glanced at Wade in horror. "What the fuck, Wade?!" Wade took a step backwards, knowing Logan's temper and needing to get out of the "danger zone" as he called it. Mr. Richards also knew of his temper, quickly stepping in between them. 

"Mr. Wilson, what were you thinking?" Mr. Richards scolded. "I thought you two were friends?" 

"We're not," Logan spat. He wanted nothing to do with Wade. Wade took another step back timidly. He knew Logan didn't like him as much as he liked Logan, but hearing him say the words broke his heart.

"I didn't mean-"

"Mr. Wilson, stay right there," Mr. Richards quickly turned to the classroom. "Ms. Grey, would you kindly help Mr. Howlett to the nurse's office. When you return you can start your test. You can have extra time if you need it."

"I won't," Jean replied, snaking her arm around Logan's waist, leading him down the hallway. Logan looked back at Wade, noticing how small and quiet he looked. He didn't look like himself and as mad as Logan should be, he couldn't help but feel sad for him.

Wade watched Jean Grey walk Logan to the nurse's office grimly. He only hit Logan to get him out of the test. Maybe he should've explained what he was going to do before he punched him. Wade had a habit of doing before thinking. A constant train wreck. Everything felt like it was in slow motion. Like he was the one with an almost broken nose. Now he can only sit back and watch what he did. There goes everything, his everything with Jean Grey wrapped around him.

\-----  
The final bell rang, Logan still sat on the bed of the nurse's office, waiting for his nose to stop bleeding. He was almost finished, but Wade had hit him pretty hard. Didn't think he had it in him. Coach had stopped by to see how he was doing. Told him to go ahead and stay home from practice, it wouldn't do him good if he had already lost some blood today. Logan asked about Wade. "Don't worry about him," Coach gruffed and left. But that didn't help Logan any.

Mr. Richards postponed Logan's test. Told him he could take it during his study hall or after school the next day. Logan was alright with that. All he needed now was to find Jennifer to help him study. He thanked the nurse and slung his bookbag over his shoulder. He pressed another kleenex up to his nose to catch any drops of blood on his way out. He was ready to go home.

He got to his truck and climbed in, throwing his bookbag into the passenger seat. He was about to start up the car when he noticed a piece of paper stuck in his windshield. He opened his door and reached for the paper, thinking it was an invitation to a big party on Friday night or maybe a invitation to a brunch held by the Fellowship of Christian Athletes on Saturday that most people show up hungover. Either way he wasn't going. Not after what happened today. He started to crumple the paper but stopped. 

There was something hand-written on it in green pen. 

He straightened it out and read the note.

_"Meet Me Under Away Bleachers. Bring Mathbook Paper And Calculator. I'M Sorry."_

He sighed, grabbing his bag and locked his car. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Jennifer. _"You could've texted me instead of the note. I thought I was invited to some dumb bullshit this weekend."_

He put his phone back into his pocket and walked to the away bleachers. The away bleachers were further away from the football field than the home bleachers were. Coach said it was to soften the cheers of the other team and lower their spirits. Whether it actually worked or not, is another thing. The school didn't have the best football record, but it wasn't the worst. This year, they had a chance at a title, something they haven't received since Scott's older brother played. Four years maybe? FIve? Logan actually wasn't sure, Scott's stories change every time. 

Logan sat under the bleachers, incognito to the team who finally stepped onto the field. He tried to figure out who Coach had put in for him, but the longer he looked, the more he realized Wade wasn't on the field. Was he seriously in that much trouble?

 _*Bo-Beep*_  
Logan set his stuff aside and dug out his phone. It was Jennifer. _"What are you talking about? I'm talking to McCoy about sheep. Did you know his name is Hank? McCoy not the sheep. Sheep is Dolly."_

Logan was about to text back. _"Then who the fuck left me this-"_

"Hey." A soft voice peeped up. Logan ruffled his eyebrows, looking up to see Wade.

"Wade? What the fuck are you-!"

"Shush," Wade quickly hushed, crouching down to the ground, peering at the football players on the field. "They might hear us."

"You know they can't."

"Yeah, that's why I asked you to come here." Logan rolled his eyes and gathered his stuff.

"I don't want to be around you," Logan snapped. He stood up and started to walk away.

"Logan wait," Wade reached out and grapped Logan's wrist, stopping Logan in his steps. "I want to help you study." Logan glared at Wade. Jean had mentioned that she thought Wade only hit him to get out of the test, so why would he offer to help him study? 

"You got out of the test," Logan said angrily. Finally jerking his wrist out of Wade's gentle grip. "Jean said you hit me only to get out."

"I only hit you to get _you_ out!" Wade snapped back. He couldn't understand why Logan would take Jean's side. It's not like she ever paid attention to him unless he was hurt. Wade could feel his eyes swell with tears. He looked away from Logan to avoid him seeing. He finally had Logan with him, but how could he forgive him?

The two stayed in silence waiting for the other to break. Wade softly side and spoke up.

"I took the test in the principal's office... I know algebra, I can help you." Logan stared at Wade. What kind of game was he playing? Wade tried to look for some compassion in Logan, hoping he would believe him and not Jean. But the way Logan was looking at him, he felt worthless. Wade sighed, "I saw the answer key yesterday. And you know Reed isn't going to change the test just because you were punched."

Logan glanced at the football field, watching his teammates play without him. He sighed and sat down next to Wade, opening his book. The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Logan spoke up. "Are you kicked off the football team?"

Wade softly nodded and replied quietly. "And wrestling too."

After two hours, Wade had guided Logan through every linear function, using his arms to demonstrate while also making Logan laugh. They barely finished covering linear regression before Coach blew the final whistle, calling the players to the locker room. It was time for them to go. 

"Okay, if you forget anything there's short cuts on your calculator now that will help you," Wade said, passing Logan's calculator back to him. "You press this button first, then choose from the list of them to see it graph it. Just act like you don't know what 6+8 is, alright?" 

Logan was impressed. "Is this how you cheat though every class?"

"Only math," Wade shrugged. "Doesn't work that well in French." 

"Well," Logan smiled, standing up. "Thanks for the help. I gotta get going, my brother's gonna be home soon." 

"Tell good ol' Creed I said hi," Wade smirked as he got off the ground. He glanced at Logan for a brief moment, noticing the way he smiled at him. Wade quickly reviewed the last two hours, and for once, it seemed that Logan actually wanted to be around him. Maybe he felt the same way that he did. Maybe it was something in Logan's eyes that said do it before Wade's own brain told him to not. He couldn't help himself.

He quickly leaned in and kissed Logan.

He could feel Logan's surprise, as if he jolted. But he didn't jolt away. He actually...felt like he was kissing back...

Logan closed his eyes and melted into the kiss. Something felt completely right about this. About Wade. About everything. Time felt like it stopped.

Until Coach blew his whistle once more, yelling at the players on the field to quit goofing off and help pick up. 

Coach's whistle pulled Logan back into reality again. Logan pulled away, quickly studying Wade. Logan...didn't know what he was feeling. Was this real? Is he still in the nurse's office? Was this a dream or a nightmare? He didn't know what to do when he was met with Wade's brown eyes again. Wade smiled, closed his eyes and leaned in again. 

And Logan punched him back.


	2. The Search

Not much was said between the two after Logan punched Wade. The two in awe of what just happened. Wade sitting on the ground, not caring about the blood that dripped down his face. Logan, fist still balled, his knuckles stained with Wade's blood. Not a word between the two before Logan took off in a sprint, no longer caring if the coaches saw him. Leaving Wade bleeding in the dust, tears in his eyes.

The next day, Wade wasn't in first period with Logan. A sigh in relief, making at least the first hour of the day easy, but when Wade was still a no-show by fourth period, not even showing up for lunch. Logan thought if anything, Wade would've showed up for that. Wade always jumped back onto his feet whenever he was knocked down. Last year, he asked out Neena Thurman who completely shot him down. Punched him down to be exact. Logan laughed at that. He warned him. Wade just shrugged and turned around to ask Vanessa Carlysle out. Who said yes. But that didn't last long.

Logan took his make-up test, finding it easy and only had to look at his cheat sheet once... Okay twice. But that didn't make him feel bad at all. He finished before his study hall was over, leaving Mr. Richards in surprise. 

"Who helped you cheat?" Mr. Richards joked, quickly grading it before Logan. "I still can't show you it until class period starts but uh..." Mr. Richards set down his pen and smiled at Logan. "So far it looks like you did great. You and Ms. Walters should be proud."

"Yeah..." Logan softly nodded, gave a small smile. "I guess we should."

Weeks past and there was no sight of Wade. Logan started to worry. 

He knew he shouldn't care, but in his gut, he did. He didn't know much about Wade to be honest, but what he did know is that he didn't care to be in school. He hated last year's spring semester because there was nothing he could do sport wise. And he swore he wouldn't drop out. He wanted to continue to wrestle and play football and he couldn't do that unless he was still in school. And now he couldn't do it at all.

"I heard he dropped out," Jean whispered to Logan during class. 

"Who?" Logan replied uninterested, continuing to doodle on his notes. A habit he picked up recently. Jennifer hated it, made his notes harder to read.

"Wade." Logan's heart stopped. Would he? Over him punching him back? No. That's not it. It was the kiss. That's what.

"No he didn't." It was all Logan's fault. Wade isn't at school because of him. If he would've said something, instead of punching, Wade would've stayed. 

"Yeah, he did," she retorted. "He's joining the army. That's what Scott's brother said."

"Did you hear that from Nate or did you hear it from Scott?"

"Aren't they pretty much the same thing?"

"Ms. Grey, Mr. Howlett," Mr. Richards scowled. "Please pay attention to the lesson."

"Sorry, Mr. Richards." The two said in unison and quietly went back to their notes.

\-----  
"Logan! See you at practice?" Piotr Rasputin, the so-called foreign exchange student asked. Piotr has been a student at the school for as long as Logan has. There was nothing exchange about him. 

"Yeah, I gotta run a quick errand for my brother. I'll be running late, cover for me?" Logan lied, tossing his bookbag into his truck.

Piotr hesitated. "Alright. Last time though okay?"

"Yeah got it!" Logan replied, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road.

Past few days he skipped practice. Not on purpose. He had every means to return back to campus to practice. But he wanted to find a lead. He's looked around every spot that reminded him of Wade. Cheap fast food Mexican restaurants, Authentic Mexican restaurants, random parking lots, the Drive-In where they saw a marathon of Fast and Furious movies together, and the Away Bleachers. He's checked those beachers at least once a day. They didn't live in a big town. Wade had to be somewhere. 

Today he was swinging by Wade's house. He had found the address on a paper in the office after talking sweet talking Jennifer, who often helped file in the office, hand it to him. He was kind of hoping to see Wade outside of the house as he pulled up, lying on the porch playing tetris on his phone, or at least his beat-up orange car outside. Instead he found tons of beer cans lying on the lawn, and a few eviction notices taped on the door. A few marked off with a red "VOID" stamp, but the newest only gave them a week left before they were kicked out, and in a thick marker wrote "FINAL NOTICE." He knocked cautiously on the door.

"WHO IS IT?" A loud, grumbling voice shouted from the other side of the door.

"U-uh, Logan, sir. I'm a friend of Wa-" The door creaked open. A man about 6' tall towered in front of Logan.

"You're just a friend?" He raised an eyebrow at Logan. Something told Logan that he wasn't completely sober, and there was at least 45 empty beer cans that agreed with him.

"W-well, I guess so. I mean we're not ..."

"He's not here," the man interrupted, shutting the door. Logan was stunned. He knocked again.

"I'm actually looking for him. Do you know where he is?"

"Nope."

Logan paused, dumbstruck. "... What do you mean nope?"

"I mean nope. Haven't seen him since ..." The man paused to count. Logan could feel his skin boil. This man, Wade's father, didn't care about him or his well being at all. 

"He's missing," Logan snapped. "And you don't care?"

"He's not missing," Wade's father wrinkled his forehead. "He's been going to school everyday."

"He hasn't. He's been absent for weeks."

"Where ever he is, he'll find his way back," the man said nonchalantly, pulling a cigarette from his shirt pocket. He light the cigarette and took a deep puff.

You don't care?" Logan snapped rather than asked. How could this man even be Wade's father? Wade was always so compassionate and caring in his strange ways. Logan left his question dangling in the air. He rushed back to his truck and sped off. 

He parked himself in front of his house. Unsure where to look next. His trail ran cold and the only thing he's heard about Wade was that he might have joined the military, but it's hard to trust Jean's gossip.

"Wait," Logan said, taking his phone out of his pocket and quickly searching for the one person he didn't even consider asking about Wade. He pressed his phone up to his ear and waited. "Hey Scott ... is there a chance I could get your brother's number? It's kind of important ..."

\----

"So you're _the_ Logan, huh?" Nathan Summers laughed, standing in the middle of the doorway with a beer in his hand. Nathan Summers was big. He stood nearly a foot taller than Logan, and still would have had a good 6 inches on Wade. Nathan Summers used to be the star Quarterback for their high school, leading the team into the state championships four years in a row. Nathan Summers graduated before Logan enrolled at the school and he was only a legend in a tale. Now, here he was face to face with him. He gestured Logan to come in. "I didn't realize Wade was into short guys."

"I didn't realize I was that special to Wade," Logan replied softly as he entered Nate's apartment. Nathan wasn't as organized as Scott was. Empty beer cans scattered across the room, some used as paperweights, others decorations on top of Law books. Logan wasn't one to judge, he liked a good beer every now and then. His brother doesn't mind, as long as Logan stayed home for them.

"You were real special to him," Nathan replied, slightly tidying up along the way. "Still are."

"Do you know where he is?" Logan asked eagerly.

"He's doing okay if that's what you're asking," Nate replied, setting books from the couch onto the counter top. "If he wanted you to find him, you would've found him the day after you punched him."

"In my defense-"

"There's no defense here." Nate snapped. "It's something I would know. Wade cared about you and you were too blind to see it." Nate rubbed his left shoulder, where his prosthetic arm harness rests. He took a moment to calm himself before he continued. "Did you ever wonder how he was able to sit by you in your classes? Why he helped you with your homework or slipped you a fake answer sheet? He's not as dumb as you think. He may act before he thinks, but that's not stopping his heart from being in the right place." 

Logan remained quiet. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much Wade was trying to help him. He remembers all the times he's complained to Wade about how Jean treats him, how she favors Scott over him in any situation. How hurt Wade sounded when he told him rumors that Jean spread of him. Not because of the rumors, but because Logan believed them. He betrayed Wade without realizing it. Wade tried to protect him from Jean by sitting in between the two whenever he could, whether Logan wanted it or not. Maybe it was always for good and he couldn't see it. Like Nate said, he was blind.

Logan sat down on Nate's rugged couch.

"I hurt him."

"No shit. The kid got nervous and wanted to tell you how he felt and you punched him."

"He punched me first," Logan quickly replied. Nate glared at him, causing Logan to shrink in his seat.

"To get you out of a math test that you told him was going to kill you," Nate rolled his eyes, mainly at Wade. "Like I said, hearts in the right place. Doesn't think about his actions."

Logan and Nate spent hours talking about Wade. Nate wasn't exactly the stereotypical football jock. He did well in school, still does. He's earning his master's in law, but his first year in high school, he was persuaded into joining a program to buddy up with an elementary student who are going through tough times. He was partnered with a scrawny blonde fifth grader who never shut up. At first, he got on his nerves, but the more he spent time with him, the more Wade grew on Nate. At the end of the school year, Wade was upset because they wouldn't spend time together. Nate promised he wouldn't let that happen and he invited Wade over to his house nearly every day during the summer to play video games or go to the park. He enjoyed spending time with Wade, and it helped keep Wade out of his own household.

Nate told Logan about Wade's dad. Wade and his dad moved from Canada that year after his mother passed away from cancer. His father didn't take it very well, and took it out on Wade often. Nate realized it wasn't a safe place for Wade and offered him a place to stay at his house, at least during the day. Nate explained that there's a handful of couches Wade currently sleeps on, his being one of the most frequently visited since he has an apartment now. He rarely visits home anymore. Logan could easily understand.

"I met his dad earlier today," Logan said, quieter than he meant, now understanding why his dad didn't seem too worried about his son being missing. Nate tensed.

"Don't tell Wade," he hushed, as if Wade was in the room. "He doesn't need to know that. It would only hurt him." 

Logan nodded and stood up. "I'm going to go ahead and head out. There's another place I want to look for Wade before it gets too dark." He started towards the door, and stopped midway. His voice, barely louder than a whisper. "If...if you see Wade, would you tell him I'm sorry?" 

Nate nodded, and Logan continued towards the door.

"Wait, Logan." Nate stood up, grabbing his arm. "Check by Murdock's house. He might be there. Wade was here before you came. When you called, he left. You might check there, I don't think he's coming back for the night."

Logan nodded a thank you and left for Matt Murdock's house.  
\-------  
Logan hesitated outside of Matt Murdock's. They weren't friends, just classmates. He wasn't even sure if they have talked before. Matt didn't seem like he would be a friend of Wade's, but if Nate says to stop by, then it's probably a good chance that Wade was there. 

Logan walked to the porch and knocked on the door.

The screen door opened right away, as if Matt was waiting on Logan.

"Hello?"

"Hey Matt," Logan said, now starting to wonder if this was a good idea to do without calling Matt first. "I dunno if we actually know each other, but I'm Logan. I'm-"

"Yeah, you're on the football team and we're in Algebra together," Matt interrupted.

"We are?"

"Yeah, I sit next to Foggy Nelson," Matt shrugged. "To be completely honest, I didn't know you were in the class until Wade knocked the shit out of you." Logan could've sworn Matt had the biggest smug grin on his face, as if he was proud of Wade.

"He didn't knock the shit out of me," Logan grumbled. Matt crossed his arms.

"Foggy said otherwise. Richards sent you to the nurse. On top of all of that, I taught Wade how to punch, so I know he knocked, at least, _some_ shit out of you." Now Logan understood why Matt was proud of him, but what he knew of Matt, he's been blind ever since he was in elementary school. It kind of took him by surprise that Matt knew how to fight.

"So what? You taught him to beat up fourth graders or something?" 

"Fifth graders actually. I was blinded in fourth grade. Came back for fifth grade because they felt sorry for me. Wirey new kid put me on a sensory overload and I punched him," Matt smirked. "The next day he came back and asked me to teach him how to fight."

"I never took you as the fighting type."

"Runs in the Murdock blood. My dad was a boxer, learned from watching him," Matt shrugged, finally gesturing for Logan to come in. He walked in about ten feet, and sat down at the table. Logan promptly followed. "Grief counselor thought taking up boxing would be a good way to release my stress both for blindness and after my father died."

"Oh ... I didn't know. I'm sorry," Logan softly said.

"Don't be." Matt replied, biting his lip awkwardly as the two sat silently. "Are you needing something?"

"Yeah actually," Logan said, almost forgetting why he was at Matt's in the first place. "Do you know where Wade is?"

"Literally just left." Matt said. Logan sighed. "He didn't say where he was going. You might try calling him-"

"I have tried. Multiple times." Logan groaned, laying his head on the table.

"He might answer this time." Logan looked up at Matt, trying to read him. The way he said it sounded so confident, but full voicemail box on Wade's phone disagrees. Matt took the silence as disbelief. "I'm serious."

Logan gave a soft nod, until he remembered Matt couldn't see him.

"Alright," Logan said, standing up. "I'll call him in the truck. Thank you for your help." Logan started towards the door.

"Logan," Matt said, Logan's hand on the doorknob. "Wade's serious about you. I promise."

Logan closed his eyes in frustration. "It's hard to see that right now."

"Sometimes it's just hard to see," Matt said. Logan cursed under his breath at his words. "I mean ... Wade. You can't just see someone's feelings. It's inside them. Your heart skips when you feel closer to finding them. You're trying to find the words to say, I'm sorry and I've missed you but nothing can form in your brain so you're scrambling until you feel your heart break when they're not on the other side of the door..."

Logan wasn't sure what he was feeling now. He knew exactly what Matt was talking about, the same feeling he had outside of Nate's apartment and on Matt's porch. The feeling of Wade being right there, on he other side of the door, waiting for Logan to find him. 

Logan almost felt mad, as if Matt was trying to put these feelings in his mind, tricking him to feel that way, but in a way, he knew it was true. That every time the door opens and it's not Wade, his heart breaks and his spirit lowers until he leaves for the next house.

Logan turned around to tell Matt off, to pretend this wasn't actually hurting him, but to his surprise, there were tears running down Matt's cheeks.

"Matt ..."

"My dad was shot after a match," He replied softly, reaching up to wipe the tears. "Every night after that I would wait for him to come home, for him to pick me up from the foster homes or from school but he was never there. It was always somebody else. It hurt knowing that he was gone, that I had lost my everything..." Matt breathed deeply. "Wade's different. Wade's alive. It's just the matter of finding him." Matt gave a half-hearted smile, "More like a game of chase."

"Thanks Matt," Logan replied quietly, opening the door.

"Hey Logan," Matt cleared his throat. "Real quick before you go."

"Yeah?"

Matt's tone changed darkly. "If you ever touch Wade like that again, I'll personally beat the living shit out of you."

Logan nodded, forgetting once more, but at the same time, he could tell Matt relaxed. "Got it."  
\-----  
Logan sat in his truck outside Matt's house, phone in hand. Wade's contact information was pulled up, but he couldn't figure out what to say. Should he apologize for hitting him? Apologize for him having to sacrificing everything just to help him? Logan sighed, banging his head against the steering wheel in frustration. 

He finally gave in into calling Wade without a plan. Matt was probably wrong. Wade would send him to the already full voicemail and Logan would have to start all over again tomorrow to look for Wade.

_Ring.  
Ring._

_Ring._

_Ring._

_Ring._

_"The number you're trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep."_

Logan sighed, knowing the next thing he was going to hear was--

_Beep._

Logan froze. The voicemail was empty. It took him a few seconds before he gathered himself and said the only thing he could say.

"I'm Sorry."

And he hung up.


	3. The Goodbye

It was already dark when Logan arrived home. He threw his bag on the floor of his room and collapsed in his bed. His brother, downstairs, was asleep on the couch with the tv blasting. Normally, Logan would turn down the tv before he went to bed, but he was too tired to even worry about the noise. He inhaled, taking in the scent of his pillow, before deeply sighing. Wade and Logan were playing a game of chase, and Logan wasn't going to find Wade until Wade wants to be found.

Logan was thinking back to what Matt had said earlier today. 

_"Your heart skips when you feel closer to finding them. You're trying to find the words to say, I'm sorry and I've missed you but nothing can form in your brain so you're scrambling until you feel your heart break when they're not on the other side of the door ..."_

Logan closed his eyes. He knew that's how he felt on his search for Wade. He wasn't quite sure why he started on his search for Wade. He had already apologized several times through voicemail. Maybe he felt like he needed to do it face to face. Or maybe he needed Wade's forgiveness. But Logan knew that's not why he wanted to find him.

Logan missed his best friend. As he laid in bed, he thought of all the times he was rude to Wade, trying to shake him, but he never would ignore him. Sure Wade talked a lot for the both of them, but maybe it was a good thing. Without Wade, Logan wouldn't have Kanye West on his Spotify playlists to break the pattern of Avett Brothers and Iron and Wine. Without Wade, Logan wouldn't have marathoned Quentin Tarantino movies and realized how much he actually enjoyed them. Without Wade ... Logan would've failed his math test. 

Over the past few weeks, Logan has actually kept up in math, remembering what Wade had taught him that afternoon. He couldn't have moved forward without him. He had spend the past week and a half looking for Wade, at first looking directly after practice, but then starting to miss practice. He knows that Coach was going to talk to him later this week to help "pull him back together and back on the team" but Logan wasn't sure he wanted to go back on. He was sure someone else could quickly take his spot on the team, but nobody could take Wade's spot in his life. 

Logan knew he had to keep looking for Wade.

Logan glanced at his clock, all his thinking has kept him up. It was one in the morning. He groaned and rolled over. He glanced out his window, hoping he could see the moon in the sky, as if it could give him encouragement to sleep. Something blocked his view from the moon, he shrugged it off and rolled to the other side, thinking a cloud must be in the way.

But the shadow was too dark.

Logan quickly sat up, staring at the window, but the shadow was gone. A full view of the moon was revealed for Logan to see. Something had to be in the way, and it wasn't a cloud. He stood out of bed and opened the window. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if it might have been a cat perched on the windowsill but...what are the chances ...

"Wade?" He called into the darkness. "Wade...I'm sorry." Logan waited. And waited. He waited for the night to reveal where Wade was. He waited to hear Wade say anything. Anything. A hello, a goodbye. He wanted to know he was okay, other than by word of mouth.

He sighed and started to close his window.

"No wait," a voice softly piped up from below his window. Logan stopped and quickly opened the window back up. The voice grunted, followed by soft sounds of scraping on the outside wall. Soon, the voice started to get a shape, grabbing onto the windowsill and pulling himself up.

"Wade," Logan softly sighed in relief, helping Wade inside. "I'm so sorry."

"Logan don't-"

"No, please listen," Logan interrupted. "This isn't about me just being sorry for punching you. This is me being sorry for how I treated you. Sorry for not standing up to the gossip. How I didn't stand up for you with Coach when he told me he was going to take care of you. I didn't realize he was going to kick you off the team. I'm sorry for waiting and not looking. Wade ... I'm sorry. For everything."

Wade stood silently, looking at his feet. He didn't mean to come up into Logan's room. He just wanted to see Logan before ...

"Wade?"

"Logan, I forgave you when you punched me," Wade said, looking up at him. "You don't need to apologize. I mean, in a way you should because you broke my nose but that's no big deal right now."

"I broke your-"

"That's no big deal," Wade shrugged. "I've had worse." 

Logan was about to speak up, asking if it was from his father. He knew he shouldn't ask that, but he wanted to make sure his dad wasn't still hurting him. He wanted to know that Wade was safe and away from harm, but he couldn't. He told Nate he wouldn't.

Logan took Wade's hand and lead him to the bed, sitting down at the edge.

"Where have you been? You haven't been at school, I was worried. I heard from Je-" Logan stopped, remembering how much it hurt Wade last time that he believed Jean's gossip. "I heard that you might have dropped out." Wade looked away.

"I did."

"What?" 

"I did ... drop out," Wade refused to make eye-contact.

"Wade-"

"Logan," Wade snapped, looking up at Logan. "You can't talk me out of this. I already did it." Wade stopped to catch himself. He didn't mean to snap. He looked away from Logan again. "Logan you gotta understand. There's only a few things that keep me at school. It was football, wrestling ... and you. I lost them all in one day and I couldn't go back." 

Logan hesitated. He couldn't imagine why he was that important to Wade. He looked down at Wade's hand beside his. He slowly took Wade's hand, interlocking their fingers.

"Wade, I'm here for you now. I'm s-" Wade pulled his hand away. "Wade-"

"You don't understand, Logan. I already did it. I can't-"

"Did what?"

"Enlist." Wade stood up and walked towards the window. "I didn't mean ... to bug you tonight. I just wanted to say-"

"How did you do it?" Logan asked rudely. "How did you enlist?" Wade stopped, turning to look at him in confusion.

"Logan, you can google that on your own."

"That's not what I'm talking about," Logan said, standing up. "Wade you're only 17-"

"And a half."

"You're not old enough to enlist. You would need your dad's permission to enlist," Logan continued. "Your dad said he hadn't seen you in-"

"You talked to my dad?" Wade interrupted, quickly and softly. His voice, filled with hurt. Logan was taken back. He didn't mean to tell him. Logan didn't know what to say. He stood there, unsure whether or not to continue to scowl Wade for dropping out ... or if he should apologize for bringing up his dad. "Logan ... I gotta go."

"Wade, wait," Logan reached out and grabbed Wade's wrist as he was turning to leave. He pulled Wade closer to him and hugged him. "I'm sorry." Wade buried his face into Logan's shoulder. 

"Iwishyoudidn'tmeethim," he mumbled.

"I wish he was a better person," Logan replied.

"Heusedtobe..." 

The two stayed in a silent embrace. Neither one wanting to go. Neither wanted to be released from the comfort of each other's arms.

"Stay with me," Logan softly said, finally breaking the silent. Wade nodded and the two slipped in the bed. Logan pulled Wade onto his chest, wrapping his arms around him to keep him safe. Wade closed his eyes and sighed softly. Logan smiled. There was only one thing he could do now. He pressed his lips against the top of Wade's head, giving him a goodnight kiss.

Wade smiled and looked up at Logan. He leaned up and kissed Logan once more, and just like their first, Logan kissed back. But this time, Logan had no intentions to punch Wade afterwards. 

"Goodnight Wade," Logan said, breaking the kiss. He placed another one on the top of Wade's head.

Wade's head grew heavy against Logan's chest, making Logan think that Wade hasn't had a good night of sleep in a long time. Logan gently ran his fingers through the back of Wade's hair before resting his hand once more against Wade's back. 

Logan, too tired to stay awake anymore, started to fall asleep. He closed his eyes and listened to Wade's rhythmic breathing. He could hear Wade mumble something, but too tired to coherently understand his goodnight.

"Goodbye, Logan..."


	4. The Aftermath

Logan woke up to the sound of his alarm. He reached over and shut it off, figuring that Wade and him could both use a day off from running away to catch up. He rolled over to see if he accidentally woke up Wade, but Wade was already gone.

Logan sat up. 

"Wade?" He called, slipping out from under the covers, noticing the bedroom window that was open last night, was now closed. Maybe Wade got cold and closed the window on his way to find food. Logan rushed down the stairway. "Wade?" He called again, looking in the kitchen and living room. There were no answers to his calls. He rushed back upstairs, to check the bathroom. 

No Wade.

He returned to his room and picked up his phone. He dialed Wade's number, waiting for Wade to pick up, but the phone never rang. He hung up and tried again, this time it rings once before an automated voice picked up.

"The number you're trying to call is not in service. Please hang up and try again."

Logan groaned and did so.

"The number you're trying to call-"

He hung up and retried.

"The number you're-"

And again.

"The number-"

Logan screamed in frustration, throwing his phone across the room. As soon as it hit the ground, luckily in once piece, it started to ring.

"Wade." Logan gasped, leaping to grab the phone. He put it up to his ear and without a hello, said, "Wade? Where are you?"

"Logan, he's gone." Nate Summers said, his voice hardly louder than a whisper. "He left last night ... He's gone."  
\-----

"What do you mean he's gone?" Logan asked, pacing in front of Nate and Matt on the couch in Nate's apartment.

"I mean he came over last night, maybe midnight, grabbed his stuff from the living room, said goodbye and left."

"He stopped by my place too," Matt added. "He knocked in my window ... in fucking Morse code. I opened the window at his last dot and he said he was heading off, didn't think he was coming back. He grabbed my hand and said goodbye, then left." 

"What time was that?" Logan asked as he stopped pacing.

"Like, 11." Logan sighed and sat down.

"Did he stop by you?" Matt asked.

Logan nodded.

"He nodded," Nate told Matt while nonchalantly reminding Logan to speak up.

"Yeah, he stopped by about one," Logan said. "I don't think he was actually meaning to say anything but I caught him outside my window. So we talked. We- ... I ... I thought he said goodnight ..." Logan sat down. "... I didn't know he was going to leave."

"He talked about enlisting before, but I always thought he was joking," Nate replied softly. "His old man used to be in the army, always talked it up to Wade, even when Wade mentioned community college."

"I thought he planned on enlisting like he planned on playing for the LA's hockey team," Matt said.

"Pretty sure it was Pittsburgh. He hated LA Kings," Nate replied, chuckling.

"When do you think we'll see him again?" Logan softly spoke up. The other two silenced by his question.

"A few months maybe," Nate said. "Few months of training, a couple of days relaxing, then he would be deployed."

"If he stays," Matt added. 

"Yeah ... If." Nate replied, sadly. 

Nate knew Wade was smart. He was about to graduate earlier than what was expected of him. And he dropped out instead. Unlike school, the training doesn't have anything to keep Wade there ... but it also doesn't have anything to keep him away. If he talked to Logan about enlisting, he wasn't turning back. Logan was the only person Nate would figure that he would stay for.

"Let's go get breakfast," Nate interrupted their silence. "I'm sure you both can afford to skip a day or something. We can talk over food about Wade." The other two agreed.  
\---------------------------  
A few months past and nobody has heard from Wade. Logan got his address from Nate and has sent him several letters, at least once or twice a week. Three times if you included the letters he helped Matt write. Logan and Matt grew close since Wade enlisted. Matt was in Logan's study hall, normally sat on the other side of the room, but the day they went out for breakfast, they came in to study hall late. Logan and Matt sat at the closest table they could find, and that became their table. 

Jennifer Walters noticed that Logan wasn't going to go back to their normal table, and migrated over to theirs, at least when she needed to check her notes with Logan's. She also noticed how different Logan acted and couldn't understand why he became friend's with Matt Murdock all of a sudden. She confronted him about a week or two later, and he spilled everything about Wade. She turned around, shrugged and left with a "I knew it." She also wrote a few letters to Wade, mostly to check up on him and send him pictures she sneakily took of Logan.

It was nearing graduation, many had already been accepted to their universities. Jennifer and Matt both were accepted to Columbia University, both studying to become lawyers. They talk about it frequently during study hall. Jennifer was accepted in August. Matt was at the beginning of February. And Logan? He still planned on working for his brother. 

Nate tried to talk him out of it, told him he could try a junior college first or find a job that he would enjoy, but Logan shrugged it off. It wasn't something he was looking forward to doing, but it was something.

\--------  
Wade sat outside of the doctor's office. Or what was like the doctor's office. He nervously bounced his leg. Wade knew he lied on the form and that's exactly why he's here. They know he lied and he's in trouble. He tried to focus on something else, how dry his lips felt, or how the paint on the wall was completely uneven, or how he could still feel Logan's lips against his ...

The doctor opened the door. "Wilson." Wade took a deep breath and walked in, greeted by the doctor and an officer.

"Cadet Wilson," The officer started, standing up. "You realize it's illegal to lie on your enlistment form."

Wade wanted to say, "Yeah. There's an entire movie about Captain America lying on his enlistment form." But all Wade could do was nod.

"Has anyone in your immediate family had cancer?" Wade looked at his feet.

"Answer me, soldier."

"Yes, sir."

"Is that an answer, or compliance?"

"An answer, sir." 

"What kind?"

"Lymphoma, sir." The officer sighed.

"Dammit Wilson!" The officer ran his fingers through his hair and looked at the doctor, who was clearly uncomfortable.

"Uh ... Mr. Wilson," The doctor cleared his throat. "We actually discovered something in your lab work this week." Wade closed his eyes and zoned out. He knew exactly what he was going to say. He was in the room when the doctor told his mother the exact same thing. Cancer. Lymphoma. Stage four. There wasn't much time. 

The army couldn't pay for his treatment. It's spread too far from what they could see. They said they hardly would allow someone to walk away without charges for lying on the enlistment form, but they told him they would let him slide "out of their good hearts." Wade called bullshit. He would've died before the charges were filed. He knew that. They knew that. They wanted him out as soon as they could.

Once they were done, the officer guided Wade to his locker to collect his stuff.

"You know you're way from here to the buses, correct?"

"Yes sir," Wade replied, pulling his items from his locker. The officer turned around and took a few steps forward before pausing.

"You were a good soldier, Wilson," He said softly. "Terribly mouthy, but a good soldier. It's a shame to see you leave." The officer glanced at Wade. "... I'm sorry," he said, walking away. 

"Me too," Wade said. Picking up a picture of Logan from his locker, holding on to it for a bit longer. His eyes swelled with tears. In the picture, Logan was laughing. He sat at a table in a dinner next to Matt, frozen in time with a huge smile. Wade always imagined it was joke Wade would've told, but he knew that wasn't the case. The Logan he knew would've tried to keep his cool, end up snorting in the process. Which would make Wade laugh. But Wade's changed. Logan's changed. Wade wasn't sure if this Logan was anything like his Logan. If he could call Logan _his_ back then. He put the picture into his bag and sighed. 

Wade gathered all of his stuff and started towards the buses. Before he was able to reach them, he was stopped by another officer. 

"Sir," he nodded as he tried to walk around him.

"Wilson is it?" The man spoke up.

"Yes sir."

"Don't have to call me sir. You're not a soldier anymore." Wade softly nodded, a little hurt, but wasn't going to show it. "I heard about your predicament. I believe I can help." The man handed him a business card. "My name is William Stryker. If you're interested, call me when you arrive home."


	5. The Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOPS SORRY I DUN GOOFED

Logan was with Nate when he received the call. Everyone was.

Nate was confused at first, not sure why they were calling _him_ in the first place. He kept asking, "Who gave you this number? Who gave you this number?" The person on the otherline silenced Nate and he excused himself out of the room. He was gone for a long time, enough for Logan, Matt and Jennifer to restart "Kill Bill", almost forgetting that he left. Almost.

Nate returned from the kitchen, quickly grabbing his jacket and keys. 

"Wade's back," Nate said flatly, heading towards the door.

"He's early," Logan replied standing up. He started to walk towards Nate to join him. 

"Logan, you can't come," Nate said, opening the front door. Nate continued before Logan could even ask why not. "The dipshit put me down as an emergency contact, so he didn't have to put his dad. Wrote me down as a brother. They're sending him to the bus station, he'll be here soon." Nate started to slip out the door.

"Nate!" Logan reached out and grabbed Nate's arm. "I want to come. I haven't seen Wade-"

"We all haven't seen Wade, Logan," Nate snapped, pulling his arm away from Logan's grasp. "He's sick, Logan. That's why they sent him back. He's fucking sick."

Logan finally noticed the tears running down Nate's cheeks.

"What do you mean he's sick?" Logan asked quietly. Matt and Jennifer stood up, having a feeling what the call was about. Logan asked again, meaning to be firm, but it felt like his voice was disappearing, "What do you mean?" 

Nate shook his head. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to say the 'c' word. It would make it all too real. "He's sick, Logan." Nate wiped the tears from his cheeks. He had to go pick Wade up, and can't show Wade how he feels. " _Real_ sick."

"Like his mom?" Matt asked quietly. Nate didn't want to answer, looking away. Jennifer took Matt's hand gently, confirming Matt's suspicion. Unlike Nate, who's solid body language didn't speak a word of his heartbreak, Matt started to shake. He had so many questions, but couldn't find his voice to ask them. Jennifer pulled him into a hug.

"I need to go pick him up," Nate said, wiping the new tears from his face. 

"Let me come with--"

"Logan--" Nate started to snap. He stopped as he glanced back at Matt. He exhaled, speaking quieter. "You think he'd want to see you, just to tell you he's dying?" Logan hesitated. He knew Wade wouldn't, especially not when they first see each other again. "I'll bring him back. You can stay and wait." Nate put on his jacket, looking at the three heartbroken teenagers. He knew he needed to give words of encouragement to them, but didn't know what to say. He glanced at the movie, still playing in the background. "He's going to want to watch it from the beginning," he nodded towards the television, as he started to leave the apartment. "You might have it ready for us when we get back." 

\----------------------------------

Wade held the business card in his hand the entire way home. It looked professional: the way "William Stryker" was embossed in the card, the matte red ink of his logo centered in the middle of a dark, black sea. He traced the "X" that felt like a pirate's treasure. He was curious what it meant, but knew his question wouldn't be answered.

Wade leaned back against the headrest. Wondering how Nate reacted to the phone call. If he would bring him a "Sorry you're sick and now dying" balloon. If he would yell at him for enlisting. Yelling at him for not enrolling in Obamacare. He had to wonder if Nate would tell Matt ... if he would tell Logan ... 

Wade prayed to any god, deity, political leader that Nate wouldn't bring Logan to pick him up. It would hurt Wade to even look at Logan, knowing that he wouldn't be able to look at him much longer. What was he going to say? "Hey, so I really l like you, and I know I have an expiration date of three months, tops, but if you could kiss me again that would be pretty cool." He groaned. Even for Wade, that's terrible. 

He looked at the card again. He couldn't go back. He couldn't break the hearts of his friends. He'd be fine for a little while, but eventually, _it_ will catch up to him. He didn't want his friends to suffer while he dies in their living room. Most of all, he didn't want Logan to feel _anything_ for him if all Wade was going to do was die on him. 

Wade looked up to the front of the bus. He knew the drive from West Point to the city wasn't going to be a long one. He had to get off soon. He watched as the bus driver pulled off the highway and into a truck stop. Refueling. Wade reached into his pocket and found a few quarters. He hoped he could find a phone that would still take these. He grabbed his bag and dashed off the bus, almost knocking the driver down, and bee-lined straight towards the building.

Off to the far side of the building was an ancient relic that Wade searched for: a pay phone.

He slipped two quarters in and dialed the number on the card. It rang once before a voice answered. 

"Wade," William Stryker said, almost surprised. "This is sooner than I thought." 

"Yeah, The suburbs seemed too boring for me," Wade paused, waiting for Stryker to say something. "Uh ... you said you could help?" 

"I'll send someone to pick you up," Stryker said, without a word more. "They will be there in a few." 

"Do I need to send my latitude--" Wade started, before Stryker hung up. He hoped Stryker knew where he was. Or else Wade was stuck there, with enough quarters to make one last phone call. He knew what a smart person would do (other than get back on the bus and visit his friends), and he did the opposite. 

He slipped the last two quarters in the machine, and pressed the numbers that he knew by heart. 

_Ring,_

_Ring._

_Ri-_

"Hello?" The voice was raspy. Tired. Sad. Wade was taken back, unsure what to do. He didn't think he would answer.

"I ..." Wade started. What should he say? 'I'm sorry' or 'I love you'?. He hesitated. 

"Wade?" Logan asked, eager. Wade could almost swear he could hear Logan's heart beat. Or maybe that was his. He shouldn't have called. 

"I'm sorry that I loved you," Wade said, hanging up the phone. 

He slumped to the ground, tears welling up in his eyes. He rolled down his sleeve and wiped the tears away before they fell. Noticing a car pulled up beside him.

"Mr. Wilson?" A man called from the driver's window. "Mr. Stryker sent me for you." 

Wade nodded, grabbed his bag and slipped into the car. Ready to ride to the unknown, away from the world he knew that was falling apart ... and it was all his fault.


End file.
